Stop The Jolie Bashing & Unite

How many of us upon hearing Angelina Jolie had received an honorary damehood gave a tut or rolled their eyes or commented something along the lines of: “What has she done?”, “Privileged American actress”, “Why does she deserve it?”, “She’s not even British”.

I was surprised that a) so many people cared b) had such a strong opinion about it and c) that so many of these people were women.

Here we go again, women bashing women. Do you think men do the same? We just can’t seem to help ourselves… And bashing women for doing good! Jeez, we really can’t win. I had to bite my lip but what I really wanted to say was: “Well, what have you ever done? Why don’t you get out and help others rather than sit there and slag others off.”

Here’s a woman who isn’t lounging around counting her money congratulating herself on bagging one of the hottest men in the Hollywood and flaunting her stardom down the latest night spot. No, she is actually using her influence and position to help raise awareness for incredibly important issues. She has realised that when she speaks, people actually listen and I have to applaud that. How many of us would have known a Global Summit To End Sexual Violence In Conflict was taking place if the Jolie/Pitt powerhouse hadn’t been there hanging out with a smiling William Hague – clearly delighted they were bringing some recognition to the cause.

Jolie and her work with the UN came up during a discussion at BritMums Live on Women’s Voices and the Media which covered everything from increasing the number of women in the boardroom to the Daily Mail’s side bar of hell and trolling.

As a woman who works in the media, I am acutely aware of its benefits and flaws and the changes that it has undergone in the ten years since I began working in it with the rise of social media. But having a job in a news environment and listening to stories from around the world everyday and the reality that most people face, gives me perspective and makes me realise just how lucky we are. At least we have a voice.

As I listened to the call for female equality and working together, I couldn’t help but feel that although these are important issues, they absolutely pale in significance to most people’s lives.

I looked around the room. Here we were, a group of mainly white middle class women, privileged people, whose struggle for equality and grievances are vastly different from many others. Of course we should keep fighting for it but who are we to moan at our lot?

Barely a day goes by without a horrific story emerging showing the degradation and horror many woman face across the world. For many women things are getting worse, not better. An Indian woman being stoned to death, young girls raped and hung, a jailed woman forced to give birth in shackles and the Nigerian schoolgirls – still missing – kidnapped because of their religion and desire to get an education.

In recent days the uprising of ISIS in Iraq, fuelled by the fighting in Syria, has brought another terrifying dimension to the region. Extremist groups wanting to impose Sharia law – to make women even more subservient and kill other Muslim men and women just because they believe in freedom and democracy. Then there are educated British men joining the cause – it is hard to comprehend.

Hearing these stories, seeing the tragedy unfold on my TV screen, gives me a huge sense of powerlessness – I want to help them and do more but I am not Angelina Jolie. Alone, there is not much I can do or say that will make an impact although I will continue to try.

Becoming a parent has made me even more sensitive to many stories, especially those involving children – knowing how much care, love and nurturing they need – but seeing innocent children suffering, being manipulated, growing up amongst war. Taking a glimpse into their future just breaks my heart.

I do have my worries about what kind of world my daughter is growing up in and as a parent you want to protect them as well as enlighten them. As parents we have a responsibility to teach and nurture them in a way that they grow up respectful and tolerant of others and understand other cultures. Education is such an important part of any child’s life (a free luxury we are lucky to have) but it starts at home. Most hate is born out of ignorance and fear. That is why I feel it is so important to travel and show them the world.

Fortunately, I live in a country and society where we have freedom of speech, where we are able to discuss our position in society and what we want. As we discussed during the Women and Media debate, it is so important for us, as a gender, to stay united.

As one voice we are small but together we have real influence. It may not be quite as big as Angelina Jolie’s but as Emma Freud pointed out in her keynote speech, there are 6,000 of us within the BritMums network with influence over 8 million people – that is quite extraordinary! Let’s use it for good, stop the bitching, put all the negativity aside and work together to help change things for the better and get behind a cause rather than get personal because it’s not just Angelina Jolie who is privileged, it is all of us.